Nice Guys Finish Last… or do they?

They say that “nice” guys, (kind, reliable) finish last; whereas bad guys (selfish, aggressive) finish first. But many psych-experts will tell you – and here’s the really big news – there’s as many good people who get to the top as there are bad people.

The typical belief states that all it takes is hard work to be successful, but how many of us know people who got ahead by being in the right place at the right time? Studies suggest plain luck plays the main part. 

According to ‘Psychology Today’- reviewing, The Luck Factor, a ten-year, empirical-based book by psychologist Richard Wiseman, “We are more like pinballs bouncing around  a machine than captains at the wheel.” Also, “Serendipity smiles upon people who have a more relaxed approach to life. They’ve clarified their long-term goals, but don’t worry too much about the details.”

“It’s not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.”Mort Walker, syndicated cartoonist

If it weren’t for “nice” people throughout my life, I would have been forever lost – in so many small and big ways. These people help others in need… before being asked.

“If you get lonely, all you really need is that rainy day love/
Rainy day people all know there’s no sorrow
They can’t rise above” – Rainy Day People by Gordon Lightfoot

Why do they do it? It seems like a sure way to be taken advantage of… like wearing a target on your back. But they don’t see the old “golden rule” as a burden in life, but as a reason for it.

Driving to a car show last summer, my vintage car got a flat tire in front of a rundown hotel. Turns out, my old hydraulic jack couldn’t raise the car high enough to install the spare. One of the hotel patrons came over to me offering to help. And, as if reading my mind, he assured  me that he wasn’t doing it for money. He improvised, with the aid of some carefully placed wooden blocks and between the two of us, it worked.

We had a “man” hug to celebrate our achievement as his wife looked on with indifference. Well, that’s not quite true. She was all for him giving up what she considered to be a dangerous situation, but he wouldn’t see me stuck. I said to her afterwards that she knew she’s hooked up to quite a guy, right? She just smiled and said, “Yeah, I know.”

“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.”- Author, Kim Culbertson

Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends…  Let the cowboys ride, They’ll be ridin’ against the wind”                                                                                                                                                             
– Against the Wind by Bob Seger

The thing is… everybody thinks they’re a “nice” person. But that still, quite voice within us knows if we’re acting from our heart or not.  The question is: are we listening? 

Fred Parry 2016

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