Good Deeds vs Bad Apples
I was reminded recently about life values and the Boy Scouts’ advocacy for being of service – always prepared to do a good deed. As a kid, someone thought I might benefit from this way of living. I mainly learned how to survive the fundraising tradition of Apple Day – standing outside in the crispy cold fall winds, wearing short pants, giving out apples from our baskets in exchange for a donation. The emphasis on doing good deeds, however, left a lasting impression.
This commitment to good deeds resurfaced in my mind while I was checking out at the grocery store. I found myself in a stressful situation: a grumpy cashier hurried me along, and another shopper was tailgating my cart like stop-and-go traffic at rush hour. Feeling overwhelmed, I fumbled and dropped some items on the floor. Before I could react, a small boy with an angelic smile handed me my fallen stuff saying, “Here are your boxes that fell, sir.” It was a scouting good deed at work!
His actions were very telling. Everything seemed to stop: the cashier smiled, the guy behind me backed off, and I felt relieved. Being on the receiving end of a good deed felt great! Studies prove it’s a win-win for everyone (see Actionforhappiness.org).
Yet, the Boy Scouts have had dark decades where manipulative adult scout leaders sexually abused children in their care. These maladjusted adults performed a kind of “soul-theft,” warping a child’s sense of goodness. The organization was criticized for not doing enough to protect children. The Scouts’ executive decision to aggressively fight legal investigations led to a 50% drop in membership. Eventually, they emerged from Chapter 11 bankruptcy with a $2.4 billion fund to support over 80,000 men suffering from psychological trauma.
The organization’s new president, Roger Krone, told the Associated Press, “…the more inclusive name [Scouting America] is meant to make it clear that all children and teens are very, very welcome to join…they can bring their authentic selves.”
“I went to therapy, religiously… I guess I could forgive… but I choose war! I could choose silence but what for? … for all the little girls [boys] who should be warned”
– I Choose Violence by Jax
Once, as young parents, we met a newly ordained minister who baptized our kids. He seemed nice, but we moved and lost touch. Decades later, the same priest was found guilty and incarcerated for molesting young native boys. One said of him, “The priest became a beast.” We were spared.
The Dalai Lama believes we all have an innate compassion, but sometimes it takes time to tune into it. “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” Forgiveness may not bring about love today, but breaking the chains of self-guilt is the only way to free us for tomorrow – even from unconscionable grief. May those emotionally damaged boys feel safe again as men!
“Anyone can count the seeds in one apple; only God can count the number of apples in one seed.” – Robert H. Schuller. Yet more importantly, of the apples we can see, will they be a ‘good deed’ kind of people or just another ‘bad apple’ making everything worse? The checks and balances of ‘enduring the unendurable’ are in their hands!
That’s the way I figure it.
Fred Parry
